Merry Crankmas, one and all! It's the most predictable tiiiiiime... of the year!
Now, far be it for me to be one to head off some restaurant quality (whatever happened to that idiom?) grumping at the pass, but we've finally hit that time of year when, inevitably, some brewery puts out an early fall beer. Then, inevitably, the blogosphere (can we get rid of that idiom?) sets itself on fire with indigence over how it's too early fall beers.
Seasonal beer creep happens, sure. But it happens all year. The reason it gets noticed so damn hard when fall beers hit in July is because fall beers, especially Pumpkin beers are so dang distinctive. Spring and Summer beers are a matter of gradient. It's hard to find a line of demarcation between beers that are generally lighter, crisper, cloudier, lawnmowerier... what have you. Winter beers are perhaps heavier or darker or spicier than Springs or Summers, but the fall is cool enough that a Winter beer is often acceptable, and again they aren't that far from some Fall styles, either. The demarcation between Summer and Fall beers, however, is pure bold print, Pumpkin or no Pumpkin.
Don't get me wrong. I think July is too damn early for Pumpkin beers, too. So is August, so is the first couple of weeks of September. But you know what? People still wear white after Labor Day, too. The fault lies not with the brewers, dear drinkers... but with ourselves. Let me draw a parallel to one of my other favorite subjects: comic books.
Comic book fans love nothing more than to complain about "event comics". For those not in the nerdy know, that's when, usually in the Summer, a publisher will announce some "the status quo will change... FOREVER!" type of event where they not only put out a six or eight or ten issue "main storyline" book, but supplement it with "tie ins" while also pulling in regular titles. For example, let's say Marvel announces The Derp Wars, a six-issue major event coming this summer that will forever change your favorite heroes (until the next event). They also put out several three or four-issue tie ins, like "Derp Wars: Requiem" and "Derp Wars: Secret Files". They also take the next issue of Spider-Man (as well as several other currently running series) and hijack it for "Spider-Man #435: Derp Wars (1 of 2)". The reason they do all of this should be obvious. It's a cash grab. And it works. People buy event comics. If they didn't, despite all the complaining, no comic publisher would ever throw their weight behind a line-wide sales loss leader.
Back to beer. This should be patently obvious, but breweries put out Pumpkin beer in July because people buy it, and breweries want to (and darn well SHOULD) make money and be profitable. We beer geeks and bloggers may complain until our throats are hoarse and our moms need to make us a grilled cheese sandwich, but the average consumer doesn't care. They don't really care if a beer "tastes better" when the weather is a certain way. They probably don't think about where the "Pumpkins" are coming from if this year's crop isn't even close to ready yet (spoiler: it's made of people!). All they know is that they like the taste of Pumpkin (or any other seasonally anticipated) beer, and it's been a year since they had it. And look! It just hit the shelves! Better stock up!
There are plenty of breweries that do it quote-unquote "right" (matter or perspective) and put out their Pumpkin beers in late September or early October. Cambridge Brewing Company holds a "Pumpkinfest" event every year around Halloween and, at least last year, put out the call on social media sometime in the Fall for people to come down and help them prepare actual, fresh, just-grown pumpkins for their The Great Pumpkin Ale. There are plenty in the beer media who pay the creep no mind and celebrate a style in their own way. My friends @RATEMYPUMPKINS have a Twitter account dedicated to rating a Pumpkin beer a day in the Fall, but don't sweat the creeper. In fact, they adapted for the warmer months by telling us what they think of certain beers in the shower.
In conclusion, if Pumpkin beer being available in July (or Summer beer being available in February) bugs you, vote with your dollar and don't buy it. From there, if it really hurts you so much that other people aren't doing the same, re-evaluate. Or go outside and play. I don't know. If you're that butthurt still, write your favorite brewer and ask them why they're doing something to make money and survive (and then hang your head in shame). Live and let live, beer geeks.
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